Have You Lost Your Mind?

I have a new calling and no it is not poker. I am going to start a travel agency, but this will not be your everyday run of the mill travel agency. HILMMTA, Have I Lost My Mind Travel Agency, will specialize in maximizing the stress of traveling for its customers so that when they return to work they feel work life is easier than vacation and therefore increase their efficiency because they never want to leave work again. Imagine the following:

Customer: I would like to book a trip for 7 from Houston to Hawaii for 10 days on the week of June 30. I would like to stay at the Westin in Maui.

HILMMTA: Great. We have you scheduled and your bill will be sent in the mail.

6 months later..

Customer: (Location Houston airport) Sir, I have scheduled a vacation for Hawaii using HILMMTA six months ago and I am now at the airport and they do not have my reservation. I have all my kids with me, what is going on?

HILMMTA: Congratulations, Have I Lost My Mind Travel Agency has booked you and your family on a 30 day vacation to Greenland where we have covered all of hotel expenses with a new REI tent that is waiting for you at your destination.

Customer: What the hell are you talking about?

HILMMTA: That's right lady. Here at HILMMTA we like to offer a different kind of vacation. One full of surprises and changeable dates and even flexible destinations. Our slogan is we are not satisfied until you literally ask yourself, "Have I Lost My Mind?"

Customer: Great business. How do you have any customers?

HILMMTA: Thank you for asking. You are in fact our second customer. Our first customer, Mr. Ima Idiot, booked a trip and we left him in Nigeria for an extra day. He was so pleased with our service, Mr. Idiot then booked us for his family vacation to Texas. We changed the date on his departure and he just found out two days before leaving. He just called us and said the magic words we at HILMMTA love to hear, " Have I Lost My Mind?" We said, we hope so and if not you are guaranteed a 100% refund.

Customer: Great. I don't want to go to Greenland. I want to go to Hawaii.

HILMMTA: Great. Next time book a trip to Iceland and the great part is you never know with HILMMTA, you could end up in Iceland or India. It just simply depends on how much stress we think you need until you say, "Have I Lost My Mind?"

Customer: I hate you. I am never using your agency again.

HILMMTA: Oh, I think you will change your mind when I tell you that we have given you a 7 stop flight to Greenland and a canoe fit for 3 for your return trip.

Customer: Have You Lost Your Mind?

HILMMTA: No mam, but it is your mind that we are concerned about.




I NEED A VACATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!