648, 649, 650- Raising Mountain Goats

March 22, 2009

To: Harmel's Point

RE: Altitude Adjustment

Hi Harmel's Point. Happy spring.

We just wanted to let you know that Dad has moved us to a building across the world with no elevator and we walk the stairs every single day. It seems that we have begun training for our annual hike up you for the last 6 weeks.

Today, Daddy thought he would be clever and call today "Yes Day". Because he is traveling over the next few weeks, he said we could do anything we wanted today and he would say "Yes." Needless to say, we took full advantage of this little game. Daddy, can I ride a horse? "Yes." Daddy, can I have some cotton candy? "Yes." Daddy, can we walk up the the Eiffel Tower? Shockingly enough, Daddy had already done this so of course he said, "Yes."

So the journey began. Klip, klop for one of us and zoom, zoom for the other. About half way up we noticed that the stairs are numbered. So after 650 steps, we made it all by ourselves. We walked up the Eiffel Tower and have even made a new tradition in the process of doing so. If you come see us, check with the airline for the weight fees associated within someone your size and maybe look for an aisle seat. Second, upon your arrival if you want to go up the Eiffel Tower, the first time up you have to walk it. We saw all of Paris and even our apartment.

Now that spring has come we thought that we would write you and make a suggestion. Since the snow is beginning to melt, can you please consider adding some dirt so you can be higher? Maybe take a page from Mt Everest and think about gaining some altitude. Dad didn't think we could make it and in the end he was not real happy being this high on a set of stairs. He is a chicken, where we would like to think of ourselves as mountain goats. So maybe add a rock and some dirt to make it the walk a little more challenging. We would never not hike you, but we asked Daddy today on the way home about maybe hiking up a "super tall" mountain this summer. He did not smile.

We love you and can't wait to see you.

PS- Dad wanted us to ask you if you could say Hi to his sedimentary friend. He would also like to specifically add that this rock cannot be added to make you taller. This rock needs to stay where it is.

See you soon,

Abby " Zoom" and Grey "Klop" aka The Parisian Mountain Goats

Grey's Anatomy: The Coming Out Party of the World's Funniest 3 Year Old

First things first, I am the equivalent to a blind down hill skier when it comes to posting pictures and videos to posts. It's a mess.

All of us have a comfort zone. I have mine while fishing in a river in Colorado. Jenny finds her zone while running. I have yet to find mine in France. Maybe it's the langauge thing, maybe its cow tongue foie gras or jelly meat (No words in any dictionary can describe this kind of substance) that I had to ingest this past week. I know I will find my zone once I am able to leave the toilet for more than periods of 5 minutes at a time and complete the artifical colen replacement surgery which I heard is not too painful. That being said, our kids are finding their groove. Abby is meeting kids at school and having fun. However, the big winner out of this whole deal thus far goes to woobie #2. I don't know what has happened, but let's just say that he is out of his shell and dancing around like a naked crab.

In fact effective immediately, I am ceasing all investments in the stock market and putting them into cookies, sugar wafers, and Gatorade. Let me be a little more clear, I am not speaking of the company's stock who manufacture these items, rather I am speaking of the actual products themselves. Instead of heartburn and anger I get with the market, I have found that investments in these heavily sugared products are the source of the bribes that I typically give to the world's funniest 3 year old and upon consumption, I receive the best footage from his numerous performances. For example:

- A few weeks back, we took the kids to the Louvre to let them see some of the museum. Instead of taking in the beauty of the Mona Lisa or the many other things at this world monument, Grey decided to look for a slide and found one at the center of the museum which is now video #1 of this post. As you can see, there are no steps for this pyramid slide in the Louvre. Secondly, a regular slide on bottom from him would not suffice in such an environment. This is the Louvre and he thought it would be best to treat the visitors to some real art, like a belly slide, and in fact not one slide, but several so that they could get the real sensation of what it feels to complete such a task with one's epidermis. Just for the record, one might notice that this is not an "outside park" near the Lourve. This is the actual Lourve. As you can see the return of one chocolate cookie investment is better than anything that GE or GM could bring these days.

- Example #2- The example is born for what now can be named as " The Most Expensive Umbrellas in the World." We had promised to give the kids their own umbrellas if they did certain chores all week. The probability of this was quite small, but somehow they hit the lottery and completed all of the tasks. You would think in a city of over 2 million people where it rains about every other day, two Disney umbrellas would not be a difficult task. So in order to fulfill the promise, we took the kids to EuroDisney on a whim which is the scene of the second post of Funny Man. In this video, after standing in line for 90 minutes, he is torturing his mother on the 1 minute and 20 second Dumbo ride. I will not need to get into the great details of my Walt Disney Conspiracy Theory.

- Example #3- I don't know what this is, but it looks like a scene from the toddler version of Flashdance.

All in all, this kid is the best thing I have seen in Paris. I figure in about 6 months, we will have shown his talents in enough public places where he will be recognized upon arrival. At that time, I will either be able to charge people for his performances or we will be immediately escorted out and asked not to come back. Regardless of the outcome, he is funniest thing I have seen in Paris and somehow he smells better than the people on the subway even with a big dump in his pants.

Ketchup

It has been awhile, so this post will cover the following subjects:

1. Thank You
2. Family Olympics
3. Sausage Sandwich

I have also posted a couple of pictures from the last couple of weeks. Jen and I had a great evening out for our 10th anniversary which included a nice dinner and a stroll under Gustav's tower.

1. I am deeply, deeply grateful for the birthday gifts. It just goes to show you that it is a thought that matters, not the item. The fact that someone would spend $30 for freight on $5 of food is awesome. Wait my stomach and taste buds are taking over the computer--"Blah, blah, blah. People this is the greatest day of our lives. Last week in Africa darn near killed us. Tomorrow we have to somehow choke down fa de frois in front of the bosses. These last few weeks have been tough, but today makes us feel that hope is been brought back to America, sorry we just got caught up in the moment. Today makes us feel like Brett has hope. We feel like the Slumdog Millionaire kids and we didn't even win an Oscar. We saw the Sugar Wafers and we begged Brett to eat them for breakfast. We then came home and his wife, who is currently being investigated for several attempted taste bud murders, gave him a ice cold DP and made us a great dinner (seriously it was good), and then we opened up some good old fashion processed Velveeta cheese with Rotel. We ended up the day with a home made cake. We thought it was some kind of terrorist plot, but it wasn't a trick. It was a real cake and really good. We love foreign birthdays. In fact, tomorrow Brett is 33 1/365 and we look forward to getting some more good stuff. Now back to your regularly scheduled boring blog.

2. It is official, pigeon chasing and wheel spinning need to be Olympic sports. Better yet, pigeon chasing, wheel spinning, and what I now refer to as the "My Son's a Drunken Sailor 10 Meter Walk" should all be Olympic sports. Look at the videos below and you will see what I mean. If you can tell me the number of times you see Grey's head, I will send you a year's worth of fa de grois. The kids have taken this pigeon chasin thing to a whole new level. We went to Notre Dame this weekend and it the midst of this great French landmark, our kids are having training sessions with the pigeons. It was great fun and interestingly enough preists in Paris run out to get smokes after the services.

3. Sausage sandwich. French lessons finally start next week, delayed one week because of scheduling. I noticed since being over here that the world has become amazingly automated. I don't why I just noticed this, but good grief if we keep this pace up we are not going to need to leave the house for anything. This past few weeks, we have had to do somethings over the phone and wouldn't you know it is a French voice automated system which has lead us to what is now a top 5 word(s). Sausage sandwich. This is how it goes:

Operator: asljfoaifoflkdaflknsdfief (this is what it sounds like)

Me and Jenny: "Sausage Sandwich"

Operator: kasdfoifjewfkjlkfjldf (again see above)

Me and Jenny: "Sausage Sandwich"

After about 2 or 3 of these, we get a person and bust out with the old: Parlez vous Anglais? Viola, action. Note to pathagreom theorem, you need to step it up. Sausage sandwich is useful, fun, and the guys above really like to eat it. You have been put on notice and you need to work yourself into some conversations, perferably English based.


Overall, we are really having some good fun. The weather is starting to turn so it allows us to get outside more. We will keep in touch and write more often.

It is 9:15pm, I guess I need to call my sister and tell her that she can now begin to officially talk about her birthday (probably has already, kidding of course).

Thanks again.