I Have Been Outsourced

Dear Public:

Due to current economic conditions, we have made a decision to reallocate our workforce in Houston, Texas. Through numerous discussions and meetings, we have decided to outsource all Brett Mendenhalls to France. We feel that Brett Mendenhalls will be make a larger impact on our vision of global domination if we make them in France. We plan to construct a facility for the production of Brett Mendenhalls that is 1/3 of the facility of the Houston facility. The four employees that are responsible for making Brett Mendenhalls have voiced a concern, but the tight quarters should help with the team building. One team member has asked that no foie gras or horse meat be served at the new facility in Paris. At this time, we are not able to comment whether is is possible or not. In the immediate future, we plan to produce Brett Mendenhalls that speak French. It may not be consider primo French, maybe more like Texas French. From a marketing perspective, we plan an intense campaign of Brett Mendenhalls appearing in various countries in West Africa. We hope to begin trade negotiations for production of oil from countries like Ghana, Angola, Nigeria for thousands (maybe millions) of Brett Mendenhalls.

Our plant in Houston, Texas will soon focus on the production John Millers or possibly Kevin Smiths. We think that the Kevin Smith market in Houston is growing and will some day be better sellers than Brett Mendenhalls. The employees that were involved in the production of Brett Mendenhalls will soon be retrained and reevaluated for other positions.

To our customers, or should I suggest "customer", who happens to enjoy Brett Mendenhalls, we suggest you trying our other products (ie: John Millers or Kevin Smiths). We think you will really enjoy them if you give a real shot. If you find yourself just aching for Brett Mendenhalls, well that is your problem.

Finally, we invite you to come see our new facility that produces Brett Mendenhalls. In the upcoming weeks, the company will be going to Paris to choose a production location. Prior to coming to Paris, all visitors will be required through extensive space reduction training with the final exam consisting of sleeping in the shape of an "L" on a hard surface throughout a full evening. I know that this is an exciting thought.

We appreciate your concern through this transition.

The Company.