I JUST WON $5,000,000

Today is the greatest day of my life. Today I have created multi-generational wealth. Today, I am going to quit my job and move to Easy Street. How?

Yesterday, in the process of reading a great book, Outliers, I decided to take a break a play poker on my Blackberry. I started out with the house giving me just $500 and then I won another $1500. Upon winning this, I entered into a small tournament and won $20,000.

I then though, "I must be the greatest." I then entered the Rose Bowl of poker which is the World Series of Poker. It cost me $10,000, but upon hours of playing and probably a severe case of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome I won the World Series of Poker and $5,000,000. I can't believe it. It is strange, there were no cameras or interviews that were awaiting me this morning at my hotel.

I called my client and told him the news. He then had the audacity to ask me if we were still having our morning meeting. I promptly replied, "Are you crazy? You must not have been listening, I JUST WON $5M bucks. I am out of here. Find someone else to have your "important meeting".

I then went to bmw.com and bought my dream car for $120,000. I mean this is a ridiculous price for a car, but I ahave $5M so it is no problem. I asked them to deliver to the house so that Jen can participate in our new wealth until I came back to Texas.

Feeling like a king, I called NetJets and asked for a private jet to pick me up from Ghana. They asked for my banking information and I asked why they did not know me because I am the POKER KING. The man said, "Sir, that is great and all. When you sober up, call us if you want a jet and make sure you have your bank information." Now I was more than a little upset with his attitude, but he was probably a little jealous. I mean I am the $5M POKER KING and he works at NetJets. What a loser.

I then went to the lobby for breakfast and afterwards I got up to leave. My waitress ran over to the table and asked for me to sign the bill. I said, "Mam, it is early, but today on CNN or CNBC you are probably going to see my picture on TV. I won $5M last night. You should probably comp this meal. The hotel is going to get a great amount of press because I am staying here. In fact, you need to speak to the manager because my $300 a night room needs to be free. This hotel is not going to be known as the "Obama Hotel" especially after the press hears about how I won $5M in room 722." She then escorted me to the manager's office to have a one-to one discussion. Finally some respect.

Interally I was thinking that they were going to upgrade me to the Obama suite, or should I say the Brett suite, or get me a private helicopter, or better yet get that loser from NetJets back on the phone. My main thought was do not sign anything, I needed to get an agent. These deals don't come around everyday. As I walked into the office, I was more than surprised at his aggressive demeanor. I didn't have time to get color or black and white pictures for autographs. I tried to explain this to him, but he just was yelling at me to pay for my breakfast and to stop harassing the staff. I stood up and said, "Do you know who I am. I won $5M in room 722 last night. I am the new poker champion of world. I do not appreciate your attitude. Put the breakfast on my room and I need your name because I am calling not your manager, but the President of Holiday Inn. Good luck finding a new job sucker."

Upon returning to my room, I was really mad and still very confused. There is still no press here. I checked the phone and it works. What in the world is going on?

I called the company that sponsored the tournament and when the little man answered the phone I said, "This is Brett." "OK, Hi Brett and you are?" he said. "OK, enough is enough. Get someone on the phone and tell them I need my $5M bucks and I mean now." He then replied "OK Brett, um, we are not a real casino and I don't want to be the person who breaks this to you, but that was a video game."

I was now screaming "Whatever, I just need my money. I don't care if you are a daycare center for green rabbits. give me my money and we can part ways. I feel sure there are going to be 1000's of casinos that want to at least recognize me as the newly crowned POKER KING." "Well, Mr. POKER KING, that is good news. Good luck with that." said the little punk and then we somehow got disconnected. I have tried to call back several times, but it seems that my number is now blocked. Did they not have the money? Is this some kind of Ponzi scheme?

A few minutes passed and in an instant I felt that I had actually lost $5,000,000 and come to think of it my hand is really starting to hurt. In tears, I started to write my daily to do list:

1. Call client and state that it is Ghana April Fools Day and ask why they have April Fools Day in July.

2. Review US law to see if you can cancel a $120,000 BMW after signing an agreement to pay in full upon receipt.

3. Find grocery store in Accra because I am not allowed to eat in the hotel restuarant after harassing the staff.

4. Kindly ask hotel manager to borrow $3 so that I can buy a Coke.

5. Find ice for hand.

You know, I am broke, but it was a great ride. Once my hand is either removed or healed, I think I am going to attempt to become the first back-to-back World Series of Poker champion. Maybe then they will pay me my $10M bucks.